Larry Johnson to be a Bengal

A long-overdue signing of Larry Johnson will take place today. The Cincinnati Bengals are rumored to pick up the running back, who the Chiefs dropped a week ago, as insurance to a banged up Cedric Benson. Problem is, Johnson hasn't had a good year since 2006. If football was like dating, dude would be considered "out of the game."

My guess is he woo'ed the Bengals with some sweet pick up lines like, "I'd like to be the starting running back on YOUR first place team." Or, "I'd like to run the ball between YOUR two tackles!" (I could come up with these all day) Then, Johnson slipped 'em a few drinks and told 'em how beautiful they are in their black and orange, they giggled, and WHAM, he's got a date. Pick me up at 4:15 on Sunday, Larry.